A Political Quiz

I don't often like the quizzes that make the rounds of the blogosphere and am usually very suspect of any emails I get asking for a link to one. But this one from Donald Hagen is a riot. Some of the questions:

What are the best forms of taxation?

CONS: - Flat taxes, where everyone pays the exact same dollar amount. Clearly, it doesn't require a Harvard MBA to see that flat taxes are truly the fairest way to equally distribute the tax burden among all citizens.

Incredibly, many so-called fair-minded liberals are against flat taxes, and argue that progressive income tax brackets are the "fairest" form of taxation. Now what sort of twisted logic is that? And yes, Ronald Reagan was absolutely correct when he observed that graduated income tax brackets were invented by Karl Marx.

Now the surprising irony about the widespread popularity of graduated tax brackets, is that despite their image a as a politically powerful segment of society, the wealthy remain the only group of people that it is still perfectly legal--and in fact, expected--to discriminate against.

And to make matters worse, the media constantly perpetuate negative stereotypes about the affluent minority. In novels, movies, and TV shows wealthy characters are always portrayed as a vile heartless blend of the very worst qualities of Ebenezer Scrooge, Scarlet O'Hara, and Snidely Whiplash.

LIBL: - Graduated Income Taxes

- Corporate Income Taxes

- Luxury Taxes

- Excess Profits Taxes

- Gift Taxes

- Estate Taxes

- Gasoline Taxes

- Windfall Profits Taxes

- Sin Taxes

- FICA Taxes

- Property Taxes

- Alcohol Taxes

- Guzzler Taxes

- Cigarette Taxes

- Employer Paid Taxes

- Sales Taxes

- Oleomargarine Taxes

- Junk Food Taxes

- Corporate Polluter Taxes

- Hotel/Soak the Rich Out of Towner's Taxes

- Business Regulation Compliance Costs/Taxes

- Behavior Activists Disagree with Taxes

LBRT: - Voluntarily pay for government services when you voluntarily use them. If these services are such a great deal, then governments won't have any problems finding an ample number of willing customers.

I would rather live in a nation with wealthy neighbors, than wealthy governments.

COMM: - Taxation is unneeded if you cut out the middleman, and simply enslave the populace directly.

A former defense contractor announces the development of a new hazard avoidance feature for cars. When the safety system's onboard radar detects an impending collision, the car automatically deploys a rocket-powered ejector seat that shoots its occupant 37,000 feet into the air, then parachutes him gently to Earth. Needless to say, this feature would raise the price of cars by a factor of ten. We should...

CONS: let auto manufactures study the devices, and make their own determination about the suitability of adding ejector seats to their product lines.

LIBL: require every car company doing business in America to make ejector seats standard equipment by the release of next year's model year. Make it a Federal offense to disconnect or tamper with emergency ejection equipment.

LBRT: wait until the auto industry's engineers design ejector seats that are economically feasible. In the meantime, let consumers who want the ultimate in motoring safety, purchase ejector seats for their own cars in the after market.

COMM: force the incorporation of ejection seats in mass transit systems.

These are just a couple of the questions on the quiz. A number of the answers are downright hilarious.

FWIW, I ended up choosing between the Conservative and Libertarian answers most of the time, but I have to admit the Commie answers were much simpler (and usually funnier).